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COMDEX Funnies ....... Variations on a *Theme*

On a lighter note .................

At a recent computer expo. (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated:

>"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we
would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon">

Recently, General Motors addressed this comment by released the statement:

>"Yes, but would you want a car to crash twice a day?"

Additionally GM stated:

<1.  Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy
a new car.

2.  Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you
would just: ACCEPT, RESTART and DRIVE ON.

3.  Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre would cause your car to stop and
fail and you would have to RE-INSTALL the engine.  

4.  You could only have one person in the car at a time ....... unless you
bought "Car95" or "CarNT".  But, then you would still have to buy more
seats ....... and possibly also a "Multi-User Licence".

5.  Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the Sun, was reliable, 5
times as fast, twice as easy to drive ........ but would only run on 5% of
roads.

6.  The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to
their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.

7.  The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a
single "GENERAL CAR DEFAULT" warning light.

8.  New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

9.  The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

10. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened!!

{source: School of Pharmacy Library Newsletter: Easter 1998}
All Rights Reserved (Not!)

Yours in computerised motoring blissfulness!

A.T.

===================================================
Angela Tregaskes
P.A. to Professor Trevor G. Smart & Departmental Secretary
Department of Pharmacology
The School of Pharmacy
University of London
29-39 Brunswick Square
London, WC1N  1AX, U.K.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
My Work Telephone Number is: 0171-753-5900
My Fax Number is: 0171-753-5902
My Home Telephone Number is: 0181-870-0787
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Bb Baritone player:

"http://www.geocities.com/TheTropics/3201";
The Crystal Palace Band (Web Page Designer)
"http://www.geocities.com/TheTropics/3125";
The Fulham Band (Web Page Designer)
"http://www.cafeinternet.co.uk";
 Cafe Internet Band 1996 (Global WWW Secretary)
& "http://www.rhbnc.ac.uk/cyberband";
 Cyberband 1997 (Global WWW Secretary)
===================================================

If you have ICQ you can message me. My ICQ#:5203728

If you don't have ICQ you can page me through
my Personal Communication Center: 
"http://wwp.mirabilis.com/5203728"; (go there and try it!)

You can send me a regular e-mail to my EmailExpress address:
"5203728@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx"

If you want to be added to my Contact List click
"http://wwp.mirabilis.com/scripts/Search.dll?to=5203728"; Add Me

Download ICQ at "http://www.icq.com/";

Include your ICQ details in YOUR e-mail signature
"http://www.icq.com/emailsig.html";

{end of message}
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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