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RE: Press Release on women in the BIOJ.

After consultation with its membership and a vote of the Band Committee,
the Band of the Island of Jersey have voted in favour of admitting women to
its active playing membership.

				  GENTLEMEN
			 *********** STOP ***********
			    RETHINK YOUR DECISION

			     ACT IN HASTE AND YOU
			    WILL REPENT AT LEISURE

Are we talking 'active' AND 'playing'. Does membership make that compulsory?

Look out - Before you know it they will be infiltrating the committee and
making decisions - Marigolds to be worn on uniform lapels during Spring
"Quick March!" will become "Bandpersons, I am desirous of this assemblage
moving down the road, so if it pleases everyone it would be nice if we could
do it in an orderly fashion and we will get Mary to beat out a nice little
Tango to make it enjoyable."

>Since its formation in 1876, the band has been, in terms of its playing
>members, an entirely male preserve, however, it has been acknowledged by
>the current membership  and the management of the band that by
>restricting its membership to men it precludes a large and musically
>active part of society from enjoying membership of the association.

Are you honestly calling females - Large, Musical AND Active and expect them
to ENJOY membership?

>Women joining the band will be expected to do so on an equal basis with
>the men and will be expected to wear the band uniform in the same way as
>women have now been accepted in most military bands.

Now come on! Even a minor inspection of the female of the species will show
that they cannot wear the band uniform in the same way. They have bumps in
different places.

"Right Dress!" - Which do you line up, the front or the back?
"Dress Right!" - Not possible. Females are North South, not East West.
Females in general do not have a beer paunch under which to sling their
belt. Females do not have the right sort of equipment to come back from the
toilet with the telltale drip marks around the flies.

>Some ladies have already expressed an interest in joining and they will
>be able to do so immediately.

Can they pass the initiation test of 15 pints in a 4 hour session?

>The current membership stands at 48

How many are still sitting and incapable of standing?

< including the corps of drums,

Will this become corpess of drumesses?

<we hope to grow this membership to enable us to meet the demands of a wider
>audience both in Jersey and abroad.

Now you're calling them a BROAD?

>Further information on the Band of the Island of jersey, based in Jersey
>in the British Channel Islands (12 miles from Normandy, France)
>can be found at http://user.itl.net/~kberry/bioj.html. Past events
>include competition at Bugle, two Birmingham International Tattoos and
>many visits to France amongst many other local events.

In future this will probably be six garden parties, four shower teas and a
Partridge in a Pear Tree.

<Regards Keith Berry
>Press Officer BIOJ
>

			GENTLEMEN
			RETHINK NOW!!!!!!!

Next thing you'll be advocating they be allowed to vote.


H Loader...


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