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Anonymous

This is a mail that was sent to me privately. I have permission to post
to the list on behalf of the writer - she didn;t want to be named.

Monkey


This isa quote from Paul Warder.  I'm sure you've
seen it.  This sort of explains the no-women point of view succinctly,
doesn't it?  Ok, I can see....you guys feel like you need a place where
you can be guys....and most women would not enjoy the atmostphere if you

let your hair down and ....ummm....acted like one of the guys....Ok...I
can see that....and I can even see the social issue.  I'd be upset if
there were NO bands I could play in, or no "GOOD" bands I could play in,

but really, as long as there were bands around and I COULD play in a
good
one wiht challenging music and have fun, I think I probably can agree
with
you on the issue of co-ed bands or male only.  There are times women
need
to be women, and I suppose there are times men need to be men....and
we're
more comfortable BEING what we are in the presence of others like us.

SNIP
...Where the issue of women in bands can cause problems is regarding the

social
aspects of banding.  All-male bands have a camaraderie and team spirit
that
cant possibly exist in a mixed band. Swearing, drinking, acting the goat

on
the bus and in the bar are usually frowned upon by your more caring,
sensitive and sensible female band member! Although I must stress that I

know of several banding women who take no prisoners in this regard!

We all know what Im taking about here. Its the rugby team thing. Men
have
previously objected to women in the taproom at pubs or the games room at

social clubs for the same reasons.  In the last 20 years or so we have
seen
a gradual elimination of male only environments in all spheres of life
with
the rise of Political Correctness and Womens Lib. This is all very well,

but theres no getting around the fact that men and women think and act
differently in almost any given situation, just ask any married
man!...SNIP

And if you wnat to take his "women's lib" thing a bit further...well,
I've
alwyas felt I've had it pretty good as a woman....why mess it up with
"equality" with guys?  I mean, sure, if you do the same work, pay me the

same amount of money and don't call me "Toots" or "Baby" unless you're
gonna call your male employees the same thing.  But if we're out
socially,
yeah, I LIKE it when a man holds the door for me on occasion.  I'm not a

militant libber....not a miltant anti-libber...not a militant
"ANYTHING,"
but I DO like to be treated like a lady at least on
....ummm....dignified
occasions.  But we ARE different....and there's no use denying it.
Men's
minds work differently than women's...we think differently...we act
different....we ARE different.

So...ok...now that I realize where you're ocming from and what some of
the
reasoning is, you do make sense.  I can understand the men-only
mentality,
even if it's NOT about "music" or "musicianship" necessarily.  You need
to
have somewhere to be a guy.  =)  That's ok, too.  And at least you get
to
make music and do something fun while you're socializing.

Regards,


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