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Re: Athletic Percussion & Drum Solos.

To: <brass-band@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Subject: Re: Athletic Percussion & Drum Solos.
From: "David Williams" <JDW@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Thu, 16 Dec 1999 22:32:34 -0000
Priority: low
Reply-to: brass-band@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Many years ago there was a little seaside band (now no more) with a "star
percussionist" (alas also departed) who provided the first in the bar ('cos
the basses were no good) , the after beats ('cos the horns, 2nd and 3rd
cornets also no good) but he could'nt play any melody lines.
However.....as the band struggled to play...say, Best of The Seekers, with a
dramatic flourish the conductor would cut off the band...for the dreaded
DRUM SOLO.   While the puzzled audience suddenly woke up, the crafty bass
players would creep off the bandstand to the pub across the road leaving the
rest of the band to suffer in silence the crash, bang wallop of the drums.
As the noise got louder the bandsmen would pale and exchange anxious
embarrassed glances as the bandstand would start to rock and threaten to
collapse..
    The sky would appear to darken and the sea become rough. Gulls would
start to screech and fathers-to-be in the audience would hurriedly gather up
their expectant wives and rush them away fearing premature births.   Little
children would start to cry.   Then, mercifully, after about 10 minutes
(although it seemed longer) the noise would start to abate, the bass players
would down their pints and slip back on the bandstand.    The conductor
would bring up his baton ....the drummer (sorry, percussionist) after
seemingly venting his rage at the price of beer, income tax and the Labour
government would suddenly start to  calm down.....and the band played on.
White-faced members of the audience would return to their deck chairs, the
angry waves would subside and babies smiled once more.     Until the next
time !!     I am sure that our brilliant modern-day percussionists who
perform like Olympic athletes would never ever do the dreaded drum solo
these days.  Or would they love to get their revenge on us mere brass guys ?
With sincere Christmas greetings to all percussionists out there and a plea
for mercy for an o.a.p. (still suffering those nightmares).  Cheers. David.


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