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Re. Ernie and Arnie..

To: <brass-band@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Subject: Re. Ernie and Arnie..
From: "David Williams" <JDW@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Sun, 23 Jan 2000 18:22:24 -0000
Priority: low
Reply-to: brass-band@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dear Mr. Pattinson.  I really must apologise if my husband Ernie and his
friend Arnie have caused any offence to you and the others on Mr. Horne's
computer programme in the past few days..   You will be relieved to hear
that Ernie and Arnie have been returned to the Home for Demented
Bandspersons in Bognor Regis.,following the riots they caused at today's
important church service involving the police and police helicopter.  It
seems they had hidden a bottle of whiskey under the vicar's cassock in the
vestry and as a result during the first hymn Old Hundredth ,Arnie played
Slaidburn and Arnie played The Chieftain.  After the vicar chased them into
his vestry they found a way of climbing to the top of the church spire, from
where they proceeded to  shout abuse at passers-by . At the end of the
service the vicar was seen waving his fists at them and the lady organist
gave them the "second time" sign..with two fingers.!  Later...in the evening
the police helicopter was called  out with searchlights  to air-lift them
from the steeple.  By a strange co-incidence the pilot used to play 2nd
baritone in Ernie's old band.(remember t'jumper jet pilot) with whom I deny
any personal involvement.   I was always sweet on player they called Ape
Man, or something !   They will never bother anyone again and I have given
Ernie's flugel to local Help the Aged association........(.UNLESS they are
allowed home at week-ends.)   With sincere apologies to you and all other
dedicated serious  bandpersons...all over the world.   love and kisses. FLO.


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